I dont' know what toe say except that its on mymind. I awoke middle of the night and all the worst throughts dfited throught me...altho there have been way way worse.
My mind settled at a certain point, on meanderings about my old pal Sean. What an ass. All I can say is, its devolved now to the point of, when I think of him, I only see the selfish and assisnie qualities. Any time he posts replies to people, on facebook, his responses are literaly, assinine. He's an ass.
And I have a well of shitty memories, wherein he was a bully, an ass, a clown, a selfish jerk, controlling, angry, centered completely upon himself.... Its really weird and interesting.
Whats interesting is, I also see his better qualities. BUt I have this well, a terrible well, of rage at the thought of those shitty thinkgs he did. I literally want to beat him up, when I think of those memories!!! Its very upsetting.
The constant, shitty slights that he enacted upon me. Not with any intent to do harm, but because hs's an ass, full of himself, and a master of manipultion.
Someone who spent hours manufacturing parking passes, and other stuff, so that he could park anywhere. Created fake IDs so he didn't have to pay for stuff. Always gaming the system tto get stuff for free. This, from a guy who was handed an apartment to live in by his parents, and was bailed out when he went into debt, and gre up with everything as the son of a dentist or opthalmologist.... really weird shit. Like h could not get enough, no matter what. He had to sneak and game more and more systmes. and is still to this day doing the very same thing.
Lives in his paretns' apartment, full of junk that he has collected. He's like some werdo stoner who needs to have more and more and more. Very werid kid.
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