Now I'm at a point at age fifty something to have to draw boundaries. Go on the offensive to let people know where too much is too much, because my choices of friendships have included people who stomp boundaries.
Remembering back to when I had to cut Durkac off. "You never do this for me, you and Mark have your little clique and don't include me..." He never understood my cutting him off. And I couldn't explain it to him. "why did we stop talking during that period?" it was perplexing to him. But really it was because he is self-obsessed and has a litany of upsets how he hasn't been cared for. But care for others, does he? Mmmmm no.
To me it was about how everything was not enough for him, how he resented not being given enough. it seeps into every aspect of his life. I was unable to see it in this way, at the time. or articulate it. So I couldn't explain it to him.
Given a chance to do it over again, I'd have said, "you suck the life and the humor out of things very often, and its a drag. You want people to take care of you but you don't do anything for anyone else. Have a nice life. Or call me when you're ready to be as generous as you expect others to be towards you."
But that was then.
And instead I am left with my bitterish rantings. Or my psych self-evaluation.
