If I Had A Dollar...
If I had a dollar for every time D wanted a favor, something made on the computer for him, money, a videotaped session, to listen to his endless streams of nothingness that are all about his own fascination with self... I'd have a LOT of money!! I know what's what, and yet somehow I'm riveted and feel like I need to comply. While my Inner Voice says... NO!
the Lady at the Laundry
well basically I was doing my laundry, and brought a crap ton of mags to go through as i waited my laundry to wash... and then waited more for it to dry. Lots of cheesy entertainment magazines. I got my coins from the crabby unpleasant attendant, quarters for the dryer. I shoulda known better, but...
When I was done with the mags, as I got close to the garbage by the door, I turned to the attendant. "Do you want these magazines, I'm gonna throw them out."
The looked at me with contempt and disgust. "I don't have TIME to read MAGAZINES. You think I have time?"
Um, no.
So I tossed the magazines.
But I remember her contempt.
i tried to give her something, and she gave me something: A Memory.
Sign the Paper!!
I have a funny memory, going to the movies with Amy. At the two dollar theater, where they'd show second run movies. This when movies were what, 12-14 bux a pop. So people would just go to whatever movie, without regard to anything. It was two dollars, to sit in the theater!
Remember, this is way before streaming existed, the late 1990s. People would pay their two dollars, and just pop in, and if they felt like shouting at the action on the screen, they would.
So anyways, this movie I'm at with Amy, Air Force One, is about the president's plane taken over by hijackers while in flight. Harrison Ford's the president, and he's sneaking around trying to outwit the hijackers, as we all expect old Indiana Jones actor to do. The defense dept catches wind of the scenario, and urges VP Glen Close to authorize shooting a missile at the plane before it does damage. (Remember, this is PRE 9/11, so the very notion of hijackers commandeering a plane for something like that was HIGHHHHHHH fiction!)
The Secretary of Defense is hanging over VP Glen Close,
"Madame President... we're going to need you to sign the paper, to authorize the missile. (beat) You're going to have to sign the paper."
VP Glen Close is unsure, and we're sitting there with the tension of the situation.
When the movie was over, Amy was in a state: horrified and traumatized.
"The guy next to me was brimming with rage. It was scary."
The guy to the right of Amy—i was completely unaware—simmered with rage, at Glen Close's hesitation to authorize shooting down the hijacked president's plane.
"Sign the PAPER, you stupid bitch!" the guy next to Amy had blurted out.
Lucky for me I was two seats away, and I could happily munch on popcorn without even knowing that this had occurred. But today, I relate it back, to you.
Seeking Narcissism
that'll be my book title for my essays all about myself haha.
I only say it because I realize more and more, I'm drawn and I crave... the narcissist. I guess its something to hide behind, be fascinated by, and maddened by as well!! i seek the big self absorbed persona of these people, yet its unhealthy to try to get something from them. because they're super wrapped up in themselves—thus the term Narcissist!
Oh but they LOOOOOVE me - because I seek their heat.
Its all bad, man.
Sometimes I'll listen to an indie station like WFUV ( - plug! - ) via web, and peruse their playlist while a song plays... selecting the song track and selecting SEARCH IN GOOGLE, watch said video, and google the artist name by itself to find out simple stats (which comes up as a wiki blurb w photos)...
Then i'll go further if interested by logging into Allmusic.com - the amazing site that tells you everything under the sun about the band, their members, their albums, etc. - and see what their origins and trajectories have been.
And sometimes I'll go to a lyrics site like MetroLyrics (or whatever comes up). This is basically akin to the old-school system, where we'd yes sit down on the couch with the liner notes! -- except that now its more A.D.D.-driven, and web-surfing-based. But its still happening while the music plays, just as it did years ago.Yeah i remember going on a bit with Danny about some tortured aspects of my relationship with Louise. "Every Relationship Seeks and Finds Its Level", is what he said to me. His response was fairly dispassionate.
You know how some people get animated, and get into the drama of others? Its not that he was non-gossip person, at all. But in this instance, he just stayed completely neutral, bordering on blasé.
"Every Relationship Seeks and Finds Its Level"?? What does that mean??
Just what I said, kev—"Every Relationship Seeks and Finds Its Level".
In the end Louise and I broke up, and interestingly/tellingly, that transpired around the same time he, himself, got divorced from his wife!
Yes, another banal story. File it.
