Saturday, December 3, 2022

 the Lady at the Laundry

well basically I was doing my laundry, and brought a crap ton of mags to go through as i waited my laundry to wash... and then waited more for it to dry.  Lots of cheesy entertainment magazines.   I got my coins from the crabby unpleasant attendant, quarters for the dryer.  I shoulda known better, but... 

When I was done with the mags, as I got close to the garbage by the door, I turned to the attendant. "Do you want these magazines, I'm gonna throw them out."

The looked at me with contempt and disgust.  "I don't have TIME to read MAGAZINES. You think I have time?"

Um, no. 

So I tossed the magazines. 

But I remember her contempt.  

i tried to give her something, and she gave me something: A Memory.

 Sign the Paper!! 

I have a funny memory, going to the movies with Amy.  At the two dollar theater, where they'd show second run movies.  This when movies were what, 12-14 bux a pop.  So people would just go to whatever movie, without regard to anything.  It was two dollars, to sit in the theater!  

Remember, this is way before streaming existed, the late 1990s.  People would pay their two dollars, and just pop in, and if they felt like shouting at the action on the screen, they would. 

So anyways, this movie I'm at with Amy, Air Force One, is about the president's plane taken over by hijackers while in flight. Harrison Ford's the president, and he's sneaking around trying to outwit the hijackers, as we all expect old Indiana Jones actor to do.   The defense dept catches wind of the scenario, and urges VP Glen Close to authorize shooting a missile at the plane before it does damage. (Remember, this is PRE 9/11, so the very notion of hijackers commandeering a plane for something like that was HIGHHHHHHH fiction!)

The Secretary of Defense is hanging over VP Glen Close, 
"Madame President... we're going to need you to sign the paper, to authorize the missile. (beat) You're going to have to sign the paper."

VP Glen Close is unsure, and we're sitting there with the tension of the situation. 

When the movie was over, Amy was in a state: horrified and traumatized. 

"The guy next to me was brimming with rage. It was scary."

The guy to the right of Amy—i was completely unaware—simmered with rage, at Glen Close's hesitation to authorize shooting down the hijacked president's plane. 

"Sign the PAPER, you stupid bitch!" the guy next to Amy had blurted out. 

Lucky for me I was two seats away, and I could happily munch on popcorn without even knowing that this had occurred. But today, I relate it back, to you.

 Seeking Narcissism

that'll be my book title for my essays all about myself haha.

I only say it because I realize more and more, I'm drawn and I crave... the narcissist.  I guess its something to hide behind, be fascinated by, and maddened by as well!!  i seek the big self absorbed persona of these people, yet its unhealthy to try to get something from them.  because they're super wrapped up in themselves—thus the term Narcissist! 

Oh but they LOOOOOVE me - because I seek their heat. 

Its all bad, man.