Its an utterly twisted fact that I'm attracted to people who are utterly consumed with themselves. In fact, its completely insane that while they are consumed with themselves and I am annoyed by this... I am yet drawn to them.
Is it all stemming from mother? and father?
Now suddenly I see sister, my dear sister! on a roll in her conversations.
She now speaks at a breakneck pace about everything under the sun both dull and yet excruciatingly detailed.
My mother loves to tell a story of me as a child.
She, typing her dissertation for her PhD, and me as a 7-year-old, coming in out of the summer day.
"How was your day today, son?" went the question as she typed distractedly.
"Well mom, blabbidy bla bla, yakkitty yakkkkk yakk, detail detail detail detail detail detail detail... endless and painful detail.. ."
That was a semi-not-so-funny story as a teenager. And now, now I see that the reason this ticked off my mama is that SHE needed to yak -- about HERSELF --endlessly, in the most self-important self-centered fashion possible! Which she now does on any and all occasions.
All emails, all conversations, are all filled with self self self and more self. No questions about how am I, how is this person or that person. No. Its all about her. And that has made a nice inner nest for me, annoying yet very real.
So, there you have it: my comfort zone. As I meet persons like mother and father, nonstop talkers, my inner voice says "Stay Away"!
And so what do I do? I go right for them. Like the moth to the flame!!
