Mark Tries His Smoothest Seduction-Moves

Mark was leaning sideways in his chair, trying to make time with the girl seated beside him. She was attractive and young, just to Mark's liking.

From afar, Steve was observing closely, and leaned in to his buddy Kaye standing beside him at that party.
"Hows that for body language? Just look at that."

And there was the girl, sidtting beside Mark—her arms folded across her chest. Her legs crossed, clamped together tightly and securely.

"If that doesn't scream CLOSED, I don't know what does."

The Eyepatch

It was Kindergarten, and everyone wanted that eyepatch. They were five years old and imagined themselves to be pirates and swashbucklers like they had seen on tv. But I was the one actually forced to wear it—because I was a spazzy little crosseyed retard kid.

The other little kids wanted a chance to feel like a real pirate, to look cool. I on the other hand have to tell you, there was nothing I wanted more in those days than to be rid of the encumbrance that was strapped onto my face each morning before starting my school day. It was a nuisance, and I hated it. So much so, in fact, that the doctor decided it more effective to instead have an eyepatch-shaped band-aid adhered onto my eye socket—to ensure it wouldn't be easily removed. I went from having an annoying strap on my face to a glued-down eye socket cover.

While all the kids in class were, unbeknownst to me, running up to the teacher with, "how come I can't have an eyepatch?" I was likely busy thinking, "why do I have to wear this eyepatch?"

Yeah.  Even as a kid the grass is greener on the other side.

THE FOODIE MOVEMENT 2011

So i have some seriously mixed feelings about the Foodie Movement. The concept behind all this stuff is that good food is to be savored, and can be more expensive, as it is more humane, more in touch with nature and basics, and often the ingredients are locally sourced.

for these reasons, the cost is higher, and so is the attitude. There's a preciousness behind it all that can be hard to take. In brooklyn New York, the chefs and restaurant owners seem to border on smugness. Am I reading into this, i'm not sure.

Yet some very excellent food, at a lower price point, can be found in Queens. More interesting. More diverse and flavorful. More authentic. Essentially, less pretentious in its creation, and less expensive. Just good food rooted in various specific ethnicities. Queens has a very large melting pot when compared to brooklyn.

In brooklyn where I live, certain hot spot restaurants are talked about and talked about, and given all the attention. And the chefs are treated like superheroes and bold visionaries. I'm just not so sure. Not... so... sure. I am a skeptic, and a die hard one at that.