Cat Ass Trophy

At the end of June, as July was about to show its head, I got rid from my cat Lulu. It only took 3 years to do so. She was bad cat.

I'm kind of a cat person, so clearly the 3 year delay was due to some inner struggles about the situation. 

While I did end up returning her to the no kill shelter from whence she came, I made the mistake of listening to outer voices for years, before doing so. Rather than doing what I should have, which is to listen to the Inner Voice.

I've said again and again, listen to the Inner Voice.  The inner voince always knows - that you are in the wrong situation, that you are unhappy, that you should be making a change, etc.  Of course, that doesn't always mean the inner voice is pointing you towards Easy and Trouble-free choices.  No, its merely telling you that you should be going in a different direction.  Its telling you to MAKE that change, whatever it is.  Or sometimes its telling you not to trust something, or to follow a better pathway, etc.  And so on.  Its your instinct, and its pretty wise.

In my case, with Lulu the cat, my inner voice said, 'This cat is troubled, and you are going beyond yourself to the point of not enjoying the pet ownership.  Reset this situation."

My mistake was listening to people like Linda, Sue, Tae, and others. They all said, with great emotion, "Noooo, you cannnnnn't!!! Its so cruuuuuuelll! She'll be miserable back at the shelter!"

But this makes the assumption that the owner is a godlike, emotionless, even tempered person that remains unaffected by all things.  I'm not said person.  When the cat would dig deep grooves into my wooden floors, something I've never ever seen a cat do, I would get quite upset. I tried to let it go, but it upset me. It was like putting up with a bad girlfriend, really.  When she's scrambled up the french doors, scrambled around the tops of them, and then jumped down and ran back and forth, it would shatter my nerves. Yet I accepted it. Never liked it, but did accept it.

But the scratching was the hardest part.  It was bad enough that she would aggressivly bite and attack me at times, for all kinds of reasons. No, what stressed me out was that I could not have visitors without her scratching THEM. She would swipe at my sister, at my mother, at my cat sitters, at my friends.  

Then, that last Saturday in June, as I chatted with someone, the cat came up in conversation. I began my whines about the downsides of Lulu the cat. 

That was the straw that broke the camels back. I heard myself. I heard me talking about Lulu as if she was Torment and Burden.  Wow, I thought as I balthered -  like an out of body experience - I heard myself whining. And complaining. And realized that this was just not good. Enough was enough, I had been denying and delaying the inevtiable for over 3 years, and there was only one person that was living my life and to actually make The Right Decision.  So I biked home, stuffed her into the cat carrier, and brought her back to the original shelter from whence she came.

I strangely feel no remorse over this. Probably because they didn't flinch whne I brought her back. They knew and rememerd, when they saw her.  Her descripton did say, on the cage when I got her 3 years ago: This is a Feisty Cat! Aint THAT the truth.   In the end I'd say, I was a good owner. I hope for her, that someone will be smitten by her upon visiting the shelter, and take her in. But if not? She'll live the rest of her days in a no kill shelter, well cared for.  I've done my time, and I thank me for it.