Alright thats a pretty dramatic title, but frankly I see that I wasted a long time in contacting Carolyn. While I have no idea whatever is going to become of it, it really brings up questions about wasted time and destiny and fate.
The drama part in my mind was always convinced -- especially recently -- that I took a wrong turn, and that I was supposed to marry Carolyn.
And yet for years I was thinking that I was too lame and pathetic for such a thing to happen. And yet another part of me said no, it was true, I had seen my destiny and turned myself away from it. To hurt myself in some way, or who knows what.
And then I wonder how many other people go through this same thing; they see their destiny, and its pretty good. But they turn and run from it.
I'm not saying that I know for sure that its pretty good; thats far fetched. but it was one possible destiny that I turned away from.
All of this could be meaningless, and it could be a test of some other sort for Jen and me. And so , this is interesting. This could be just a way to put a cap on the past, i don't kmow.
Life, finally, has proven to be so so strange. Suddenly life has taken a different turn.
I may be dead, soon enough. But i'll hvae explored something, at least, on this world.
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